eviction notice

i saw this on someone else's blog and thought it was pretty cute...

eviction notice for little miss elmore
september 24, 2007

dear baby elmore:

please note that friday was september 21st, which, as you have been orally reminded for several months now, was the "due date" referenced in the lease that you agreed to approximately nine months ago, and thus the date by which you were supposed to vacate your current premises. following a routine inspection of the property this morning, i have been advised that you have not yet begun to make sufficient preparations towards moving. i am also advised that you may have changed the locks, as the inspector was unable to obtain access to the property.

please note that, if your departure continues at this pace, you will be in violation of the lease, which was entered into in good faith, with the expectation that you would honor its terms. accordingly, i have no choice but to advise you that if you do not voluntarily remove yourself from the premises within the next 7 days, i will have no choice but to commence formal eviction proceedings, and i have already put the proper authorities on notice. as you have been repeatedly advised, your new accommodations are in fact ready and awaiting your arrival, so your cooperation in voluntarily moving out of the current premises, avoiding the time and inconvenience of more formal, compelled proceedings, would be much appreciated. thank you for your attention to this matter.

sincerely,
the landlord